We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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