and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
