your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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