Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
