Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
