FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
