This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
