I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
