Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
