Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
