You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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