I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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