Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
