What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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