mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
