Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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