this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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