ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you had me at cake vodka
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
