I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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