You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
