I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
