Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
