I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
