There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
