I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
