That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
