i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
