Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
her vagine was all disorganized.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
