Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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