it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The adults are the big ones right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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