I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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