i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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