normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My balls are so social today.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
