I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
