Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
