Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
