i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
