Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
