I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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