I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
