i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
