I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize