do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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