Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
