Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
