I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
