I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize