Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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