Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize