There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
