Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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