Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
