if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
