i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
