threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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